लैस एंड मोरे लैस

Men!! Some never change, even get worse!
The ex is a waste of space.
During the summer we went off to Paris and Venice for a week, he complained because I was taking my youngest to spend her birthday there. He complained because he didn’t find it right me taking her while he was in the UK. Funny enough he organises a trip to Brazil in December, when it is my eldest's birthday. But that is ok for him, as long as he is doing what is good for him it doesn’t matter.
He confronted me about this and said that in the summer 2010 he would take the kids to Brazil for a month. I said to him as long as he got a court order and paid a proper maintenance I could consider it, If not over my dead body. He fumed! Not happy with my decision, and not happy with the fact that he would have to move his backside and do the right thing he decided to torment my eldest by ringing her nonstop and going on about the fact that I wouldn't allow him to take them and for her to convince me. She being donkey years more mature than him told him that it wasn’t down to her and she wasn’t even sure she would want to go with him. He went on and on about it and she ended up getting annoyed. Not happy he continued to ring her and she wouldn’t pick up, she was at a friend’s house enjoying her summer and he was pestering her nonstop. He began leaving messages. He annoyed her so much that she blocked him on MSN and Face book.
When she finally spoke to him, which was the following Thursday, 13th August 09, he was sweet with her on the phone. The kids were due to go to his house for the weekend.
As the time was nearing to go, she said to me that she didn’t feel like going, she had a bad feeling. I told her to do what she thought was best. Her answer was: “I need to sort this out".
So off she went, after dinner he called her for a chat, he began saying that now she couldn’t put the phone down on him and she was going to listen to him.
An argument began; he began accusing me, calling me a monster, saying that she was a monster like me. She began to confront him and spoke her mind. He didn’t like it so, he told her to kneel facing the wall and stay there until he said so. She refused, he sent her to her room, and she said the only place she wanted to go to was home, to her home. He then began smacking her, dragged her by the wrist up the stairs, shut the door, took a flip flop and began smacking her nonstop. He then took away her phone and laptop so she couldn’t ring the NSPCC or child line. His girlfriend told him to stop, but he wouldn’t listen. After he was done, his girlfriend went up to speak to her and she told her that it as best not mentioning this to me. What an absurd thing to say!!
When she came back the next day she was in a right state, she told him that she hated him and never wanted to see him again.
We rang the NSPCC and child line and they told her that if she didn’t feel safe she had the right not to want to see him again. We spoke a lot, she was in pieces. It broke my heart.
We travelled the following Monday, we had a brilliant time, but he wouldn’t stop pestering us. Sending SMS, or trying to ring.
I told him that for me they would never see him again, because what he did was physical and emotional abuse! He tried to blame it all on her.
Now, I am not saying that I am an angel and when I write to him I don’t tell him some home truths, because that would be me being hypocritical. I do it. It angers me so much to see a person constantly lying and trying to portray himself as a saint.
Finally we came back, he was ringing, Jess said she didn’t want to speak to him, I told her when she was ready to let me know. He would try ringing her on her mobile, she wouldn’t pick up. Then he finally left her a message saying:
- I just want to know where I stand, because if you don’t want to see me anymore at least tell it to my face, like that I will go away and make a new family and be a good dad to them!
Honestly!!!!!! She was really upset with this. I told him that we would meet on the 5th Sept 09 and we would talk.
On August the 30th she told me that she didn’t feel ready for this chat, she didn’t want to see him yet. I told her to text him and let him know how she felt.
So she did, she wrote to him said to him she needed more time and that she was feeling confused and said that she would contact him as soon as she felt prepared, in the meantime to respect that and not contact her.
Now any good parent would reply, take as much time as you need I am here for you and waiting.
But in his case what she got was: I don’t think we are family anymore, so I am leaving you alone. Goodbye!
Honestly!!!! Who is the adult here?
Anyway, it has been 2 months now and on the 12th October he sent me an email telling me that is was absurd this situation, that he had his rights and how could I allow an 11 yrs old to make such decision of not wanting to see him anymore?
First of all, I didn’t tell her to make a decision, he asked her to make one, and she asked for some time, he didn’t respect it.
She doesn’t want to see him anymore, nor does the 9yr old; we have moved to lovely new home, new schools for them, they adore their new environment and friends, the freedom. They have friends on the street to play with, it is safe and sound. All I want is for them to get a great education and grow up with no problems.
He also mentioned in his email that he and his mum were very upset with the situation.
I went down hard on him in my reply, why? Because he was putting himself once more in the role of the poor wronged man, who did nothing wrong!
I also managed to find out that he took part in a £21000 MOBILE PHONE FRAUD SCAM!
It is shameful! Now do I want my kids to grow up surrounded by that?
I sent this to his siblings to let them know what he was up to and send them the link to how I found it. For someone to be in the court news on the net that shows people who have done something wrong and now have a criminal record.
All I want is to protect my kids. I work hard to give them stability.
Jess and I have our arguments, she is turning into a teenager, there are many tough times, but one thing I know is that smacking a child doesn’t solve the issue, we argue but we communicate. She is able to confide in me and open herself to me. She also tells me that she hates me sometimes, but what pre adolescent doesn’t say that? Didn’t you ever say it, I am sure I did say it to my parents.
Now the ex is threatening me. So let him threaten. I have done nothing wrong. Many times I told the kids that if they want to see their father they can. They both tell me that they don’t want to, that they prefer it like this, just the 3 of us...
What will happen next?
More threats?
Him going to court?
Well, we will see... They do say that a Dog that barks does not bite.....
Until next time!