It has been over a year now that my eldest has been physically attacked by her so called father. Since this happened back in August 2009 there has been no more contact.
Kids decided after this event that he would never change and was it worth persisting on a mistake. They were old enough to make their own minds up.
So we moved to a nice new house, each child has their own room, a loft to hang out when friends comes, 4 pets (2 hamsters and 2 guinea pigs), a 10foot trampoline in the garden, friends on the street that they play out with and they are both attending good Jewish schools and receiving a good Jewish education. My eldest had her Bat Mitzvah which was a success, she did ever so well in the synagogue, we had a lovely brunch and a party and the whole family came to share this important moment with us. It was the most fantastic 2 days we had had in times.
Kids are settled and happy and I am getting there financially, paying off the debts the ex left and due to the lack of proper child maintenance I incurred. I am now working for the University of Sorbonne and doing my translations, working for the PCT, interpreting now and then and also coordinating/teaching the Hebrew and Jewish studies lessons at the synagogue.
So we have been awfully busy the kids and I.
The father tried putting a solicitor on my back to burp his rights as a father. In November 2009 I received a letter from his solicitor demanding to know why contact had stopped and saying that he wished to take the children off to Brazil for a month in August 2010. She gave me 10 days to reply. I took my time, and on the deadline I replied. I sent the solicitor a statement reporting all that had happened and to everything that was being said evidence to support it.
I had all the emails from the NSPCC that were exchanged and confirming that we had contacted them when the ex hit his daughter, and that is was a serious matter, letters from the doctor, school, referrals to children's counsellors and a report from NEWS COURT, describing exactly what happened and why he was arrested in 2009 and the 180 hours of community service he received.
I can say that I never heard from his solicitor again.
Kids are very firm with their decision and do not want to see him any more. My youngest says he is dead to people and my eldest avoids speaking about him.
When we came back from Israel they asked me if it was possible to remove his surname from their name via deed poll, I was sorting out all my documents ridding myself of that surname that was still haunting my name and they said that they wanted to be like me. My eldest said: "A surname is something you should be proud to carry, why should I carry his name if I am not proud of him".
That was that, in September my children changed their names and documents. It felt like a weight was lifted from our shoulders. New start, new life... They even added their Hebrew names that I wanted to give them when they were born but the ex would make fun of it.
All I can say is that it is not always easy, but I am bless to have such a great mum and dad, sisters and family to support me emotionally.
Nothing goes missing for the kids, we travel, go out, have a life... We have someone special in our lives that is always there for us as well.
The ex contacted my little one on her birthday via email, he quoted: "Now and then I think of you guys". Nice! Gabs replied telling him to go away and not contact her any more, that she didn't like him or his girlfriend.
I just think that when a father really loves their kids he will do all he can to be there for them. But it is not the case, he was never a father, just a sperm donor.
Keep well!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment