Monsieur mon MP has got in touch!

Well..... The CSA paid in a certain amount into my account to 19/10, and finding it odd, I rang them to find out what was that for, and what about the arrears dating June 2005??? Of course they passed me on to someone who didn't have a clue what was going on with my claim and he said he would look into it and find out who was dealing with the Variation of life style that I put in 6 months ago. He promissed he to get back to me the same day, guess what I am still waiting. Don't you just love the CSA??? What will happen now, will they get in touch, je ne sais pas!!!

In the meantime Monsieur my MP finally contacted me 6 months after I sent my email to him, well better late than never isn't it? He offered to look after my case and help me in my battle with the CSA, that he aslo believes is lacking a lot. I shall write to him and accept his help, maybe he can help in some way. Who knows?? Lets keep the faith, because if I go to him with negative thoughts nothing good will come out of it, so lets be positive.

What the CSA needs to realise (which I believe they do, but don't want to assume it) is that no Resident Parent can live with £5 per week and that they have to look not only at the Non resident parent's income, or whatever they declare to the Inland Revenue. There is more. No one can live on £100 pw nowadays, it is unrealistic! How the hell do you pay for your rent, food?? If the NRP can declare he lives on that income, how can he expect a RP to support her and his kids with what she earns? In my case I work hard and thank God I never relied on a man to support me, but kids aren't just a one parent responsibility, and if the NRP accepted that and sat down with the RP to put on paper the children's expenses and shared it wouldn't a lot of aggravation and stress be avoided?

Bottom line is.... You have kids they are for life! They need to be fed, clothed, do weekly activities, need entertainment, culture, to be stimulated intellectually and all that costs. So if the NRP was more conscientious and gave a normal and decent amount for child support to the RP, life would be oh so much easier and problems would be avoided by the bucket.

My ex husabnd and I are on good terms now, thank God, we are mananging to get on well for the sake of the kids. In part this happened due to my change of attitude towards him, due to the fact that I stopped seeing him as my ex husband and began seeing him as the children's father. When one manages to do that, put all the anger and hatred aside, things become so much more clearer. And due to that change in me, it resulted in a change in him as well.

When I began this blog it was at a time that things were really bad, the fact that the dad had vanished for 2 yrs , leaving me with all the bills to pay, which made matters even worse. But throughout the court proceedings things began to change and my mind began functioning in a different way, and that was due to my kids. They were sending me signals telling me that they wanted the right to see their dad, and who am I to stop them? At the end it is down to them to judge their dad how they want and not for me to brainwash them with what I believe or believed.
I am not saying here that I changed my opinion regarding him, I still believe he is lacking in some ways, but as long as my kids go there and return happy it is fine. I just don't want my kids accusing me if having kept them away from him. They have the right to make their own mind up regarding their dad.
But one thing I noticed was thar when I changed my actions, my life changed as well, and we managed to find a point of equilibrium.

Now, I don't think anyone should take the NRP to the cleaners, no he/she has the right to an income and a life, but the NRP should KNOW that kids generate expenses, and if they don't want their kids to be couch potatoes, living on oven chips and nuggets, they should put their hands in their pockets and offer the RP a realistic child support. I started this fight with the CSA and I will go till the end of it, not to revenge myself from my ex, but to prove a point to them that they need to be more realistic as to how they deal with the NRP and put their priorities in order ao that people who will deal with them in the future won't go though having to hear: You were granted £5 a week... Which is highky unrealistic here.

I do not want to put the ex in jail or have him punished reagrding the maintenance issue, all I want is the CSA and the NRP to pay what they really can afford, and not get away with a fiver a week! CSA has to let the penny drop and learn the £5 p/w is nothing!
I shall keep posted!